There's no fear in love
We need love. So why do we push it away? Yes, we fear loss. We fear rejection. But could it be that we fear intimacy more? Why else do we give our heart and body away to fools? Why else do we pursue relationships we know will lead to rejection, disappointment and harm? Why else do we push away and sabotage those relationships with great potential for true intimacy?
What is intimacy? (In-to-me-see). I will let you see and know who I truly am. This requires me to explore and discover this for myself first. I will not go to you to tell me who I am. Intimacy takes time. We so often replace intensity with intimacy. Intimacy requires risk and authenticity; honesty and vulnerability. It's not a band-aid for the cancer inside of us; It's not escapism; it's not a quick fix for loneliness. It's not a fill up when we're on empty. Those are counterfeits and we so easily get distracted and caught up in them.
It's safer to believe that what we really fear is rejection. Yes, there is risk of rejection and this is painful. But we've come to expect rejection; we guard ourselves and brace for it. And we dare not hope for the real thing. We're more unsettled when people move towards us and love us well. We struggle to receive freely. We'd rather deprive ourselves than let another stir us in such a way that we long for more.
We are complex when it comes to matters of the heart. We've become most afraid of intimacy and convince ourselves that counterfeits are not only enough but better. When we settle for counterfeits, we operate from a place of fear. Don't let fear rule you. There's no fear in love.