Truth sits like a rock at the pit of my stomach. Like a caged bird I want to set it free, set me free. But shame, fear and guilt keep me from sticking my fingers down my throat and inducing truth-telling. I know it's these secrets that feed off my shame, fear and guilt. I'm so hungry for the nourishment of healing and intimacy, yet gorge on junk food.
I want to wrestle through this to the other side. I don't want to stay stuck in this mud of shame, fear and guilt. I'm afraid, if I talk about it, people will throw mud in my face and then I will sink even deeper in this quicksand of silence. I want to jump off the high-dive & swim naked in the clear, clean, cool water of truth. But I can't swim. And I will not jump unless you push me.